I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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