Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
