did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
