he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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