Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
