you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
