I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
