Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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