im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Operation Purity has been aborted
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
