i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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