Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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