Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
