The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
