dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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