I think I am morally bankrupt
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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