His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
