Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
