We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize