I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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