we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
