YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize