dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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