I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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