I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
