I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
