I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
