dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
