He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
