Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
