you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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