the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
