It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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