I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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