She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
