You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
