Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
