I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I need moral support for this bender
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
