we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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