Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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