His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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