why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
