need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pappa wants mamma naked
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
