Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
