Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
