I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You can't special order awesome
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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