That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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