Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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