shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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