areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
