Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
