At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
