That's intense
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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