Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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