On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
