Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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