But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
