I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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