I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
