Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
