you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize