I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
