I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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