Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
