this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
