your thong is hanging out like whoa
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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