I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
