My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i have two assholes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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