She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
