Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
