I hope mine doesn't look like that
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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