I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
